I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize
