Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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