So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I party with great urgency now.
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