CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
