Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
