PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
