I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
