Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
