I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
