brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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