I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
