I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
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