I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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