The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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