Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
