'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
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i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
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