I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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