I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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