He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
