She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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