im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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