Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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