How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
you made out with another girl for some wings
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
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