I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
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i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
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