Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
