i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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