she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
