Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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