We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Randomize
