I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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