some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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