Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Randomize
