I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
