ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
