Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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