How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
