just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
