batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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