Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
