hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
