I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
