matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
