I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
