It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
