You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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