Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize