69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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