I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Randomize