when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
