you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
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