do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Randomize
