she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
