I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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