I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
