he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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