so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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