I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
